I'm proud of my home network and maintain it out to the phone company point-of-presence. When the service provider's DSL line goes out due to an external short, I need to open trouble ticket with their phone line people. How hard could that be?

Problem #1: Our AT&T DSL line goes out after a heavy rain.

Solution #1: Contact AT&T customer support.

Problem #2: Find a way to communicate with AT&T customer support.

Solution #2: Log into my AT&T account online. Spend 15 minutes clicking through about 20 web pages of "pay me" and "buy me" links to find a web page to report connection trouble. Attempt to avoid laborious "self help" procedures which wrongly assume I haven't already checked my own equipment.

Problem #3: There is no email or webform anymore. You have to chat or spend 30 minutes interacting with voice menus designed to slow down your access to real people.

Solution #3: Try chat.

Problem #4: As follows. Chat person is clearly cutting and pasting his way through a canned irrelevant sequence of questions. When I explain the problem the second time, he goes away (to a supervisor?) and then cuts me off.

Solution #4: Get Comcast.

https://pattta.att.motive.com/netagent/scripts/srvgate.dll?Action=1060

Session ID: 1670932

Date: 4/13/2010 (about 5:00 PST)

System	Welcome Mr. John Rose.
System	Connecting to server. Please wait...
System	Connection with server established.YouTechnical Support Topic: DSL High Speed Internet
System	Frank has joined this session!
System	Connected with Frank
Frank	Thank you for contacting AT&T Internet Support, my name is Frank (AK####). How can I make you a very satisfied customer today?
You	My DSL line has been down 2 days. (###-####)
You	I've rebooted my local equipment several times, etc.
You	We just had some heavy rains, and this has happened before like this.
Frank	I am sorry for the inconvenience you have faced due to this issue. I will do my best to help you in getting this resolved.
You	The voltage on the DSL line is 18 volts (not 50 volts). Is that normal or is it a short?
Frank	I see that I am chatting with "Mr. John Rose" and the number associated with your DSL/Dial account is ##########. Am I correct?
You	Yes. I think the DSL might be on a second line; not sure.
Frank	Mr. Rose, which modem are you using?
You	I'll have to look that up. It has worked correctly for many months. It's not very old, though.
Frank	Sure, please take your time.
You	I don't think it's my internal equipment. I went to the external access point (outside my house) and directly measured the voltage on ATT's cable. It was 18 volts which I think is low.
You	Here's my latest note on the modem:
You	Modem from AT&T; Access Code: ########## (###.###.#.###)
You	That doesn't give the model. But it's a recent model.
Frank	Thank you.
Frank	Have you checked all the connections/filters from the router/modem to computer? There should be no loose connections.
You	Yes, several times. When I measured the external voltage I disconnected all the inside stuff, so the problem is in your external cable. An internet search on DSL voltage shows me that 18 volts (which I measured) is typical of a partial short due to water damage. We just had a heavy rain. This has happened before. Can you please open a trouble ticket to send out a tech to our house?
You	Reference; http://www.dslreports.com/forum/r21806283-No-dial-tone-but-DSL-works
Frank	In order to assist you further, may I place you on hold for approximately two minutes while I check my resources
You	Sure.
Frank	May I have your alternate contact number through which Line Department can make contact with you?
You	The main voice number works : ###-###-####. My cell phone is ###-###-####.
You	The modem model is DIR-655.
Frank	Thank you.
Frank	Mr. Rose, due to some technical issue, I am unable to create a trouble ticket for your issue.
You	Wait: That's my router. Working with my teen to get the right number out of the attic...
Frank	Please contact to us again after 2 hours, I really appreciate your patience.
You	I'm not patient. This is wasting my time. You need to open a trouble ticket for me.
System	The session has ended!

Update…

4/13 Later the same day my wife spent exactly 112 minutes (almost 2 hours) on the phone dodging through the AT&T customer service maze. She eventually talked to someone who could look at our account. Our account had been closed with no explanation. (The line voltage has dropped to almost nothing, which I suppose means it’s been switched off, instead of partially shorted.) We were invited to apply for a new account. The cause of this will probably forever be a mystery. The waters are muddy because a week before we had begun talking to Comcast about getting their cable-based service, but nothing had been done yet. This should not have terminated our DSL service; somebody’s got an itchy trigger finger. Our AT&T based voice service seems to be alive still.

4/14 Comcast quickly accelerated our cable hookup process. We are now connected again, and at better speeds. Bye-bye DSL.

4/15 A normal day (except for U.S. income taxes being due).

4/16 This evening, our AT&T telephone service goes dead without notice. Well, that’s bogus. Is Comcast telling AT&T to close our account before they are ready to connect us? I guess they have to acquire our number from the old carrier, but it seems sloppy to do it on a different day than the actual installation. (Which hasn’t happened yet.) Or is AT&T shutting us down early, because they know we’re leaving anyway? That would be even worse. Again, I think the cause of this will remain a mystery. Does everybody have to do without phone service for several days when they switch carriers?